![]() The first few times you use this approach just move your child to the next room. Delaying the time-out even five minutes only weakens your message and encourages your tot to push the limits even harder. The best time to teach discipline is right when the misbehavior is happening. Here are some tips to help time-out go well. Most of us feel awkward when we do something new (like the first time we fed or bathed our baby). But for some parents, the idea of giving a time-out makes them nervous. Allow them to learn from mistakes.Time-outs are a take-charge discipline tactic that can help put a stop to aggressive toddler behavior, like hitting and biting. Create consequences to prevent actions from happening repeatedly, not to simply punish.Avoid harsh verbal discipline, such as yelling, swearing, and using insults, which can be harmful to a child’s development.Distract rather than discipline children under 2-years-old, whose attention can be easily redirected.Wait to discipline a toddler until they’re also ready for potty-training.The Four-Pronged Approach to Starting Discipline Think of it as saving your strength for bigger battles.Īnd, seriously, let 1-year-olds be 1-year-olds. So don’t think of it as abdicating your parental duties to curb misbehavior. In any case, no one learns and everyone has a bad time. And if your child is not developmentally ready for behavioral training, you’re just wasting your breath (and potentially causing long-term damage by yelling and punishing too harshly). The bottom line is that if a kid isn’t learning from what a parent’s doing, it’s not technically discipline. Besides, ignoring is far more relaxing than yelling or policing. This makes timeouts less of the game that they’ve become - where kids attempt to win more attention by not facing the wall - and turns timeout into more of the hard reset it was always meant to be. “That in itself is reinforcing and more likely to make the behavior continue.” One alternative to timeout, the ultimate attention grabber, is simply ignoring your child for a short period of time. “When a kid misbehaves they get all kinds of attention from us,” she says. But Pearlman says it’s crucial that parents not let punishments become sneaky ways for kids to grab more attention. So redirection is key.Īround age 2, it’s time to introduce consequences. “They don’t need to be punished at that age, they just need to stop doing what they’re doing,” Pearlman says. If that infuriates your little darling (it will) regale them with silly voices. If your kid won’t stop throwing a toy, take the toy away. Instead, Pearlman recommends redirection. “A toddler running into the street and nearly getting hit, then being pulled back in and scolded, isn’t going to teach an 18-month old not to run in the street,” Pearlman explains. If the child is as yet unable to mentally link the consequence to the action, you’re just screaming into the void and your child isn’t sure why. The point of discipline, Pearlman says, is behavioral training - creating consequences to prevent actions from happening repeatedly. ![]() If your kid isn’t developmentally ready for discipline, it’s not his or her fault. Perhaps, Pearlman suggests, parents flip out at their kids because misguided attempts at discipline don’t stick. And yet one in six parents are still doing it. Likewise, 50 years worth of research suggests spanking and harsh punishment can lead to mental health problems, cognitive difficulties, aggression, and antisocial tendencies later in life. They found that harsh verbal discipline, such as yelling, swearing, and using insults, was as harmful as hitting or spanking toddlers. A 2013 study published in Child Development highlighted just how dangerous regularly yelling at your kids can be. Meanwhile, ineffective discipline can exacerbate parental frustration - which can result in yelling. The Pitfalls of Ineffective Toddler Discipline “If they’re ready for potty training, they’re ready for consequences,” Pearlman says. Generally speaking, you can’t effectively discipline a child until they’re at least 2 years old - about the same time your toddler-age kid is ready for potty training. When defiant toddlers throw their bottles, frustrated parents often turn to parenting expert Catherine Pearlman, author of the book Ignore It! The tough but fair answer she gives is that disciplining a toddler isn’t possible. It’s far better for parents to adjust their expectations. But disciplining a 2-year-old who’s in the middle of learning important things isn’t constructive - and is bound to fail. And that exploration can be frustrating for observers. That’s essentially how they explore their world. Because the maddening truth at the heart of trying to discipline toddler age kids is that, in this developmental phase, parents (and not kids) are actually the ones who need discipline. Trying to discover how to discipline a toddler is a fool’s errand.
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